Lifeguard by James Patterson

I’m like a hypocritical “vegetarian” that goes around telling people how unhealthy beef is, and then I secretly stuff my face with quarter-pounders when no one is looking.

I’m a total book snob.  You’re reading THAT? I’ll ask a friend after hearing about their latest grocery store book purchase.  And then, when no one is around, I’ll quietly pull out another James Patterson novel and  just consume it in a night.

Confession:  I like James Patterson.  So what?  Sure, you can buy him at any airport kiosk.  Sure, he’s not Faulkner.  But he keeps me entertained.

Lifeguard by James Patterson and Andrew Gross is about a part-time lifeguard/pool guy/errand runner in Palm Beach Florida named Ned Kelly.  At the opening of the book Ned has fallen in love with an out-of-his-league beautiful rich woman named Tess McAuliffe.  Ned gets roped into participating in a $60 million art heist by his seedy South Boston childhood friends.  It was supposed to be easy money, but things quickly go south.

When the paintings aren’t where they were supposed to be, they quickly realize that they’ve been set up, and soon all of Ned’s friends are dead…and so is Tess.  Now being accused of murder and a huge art theft, Ned runs back to Boston and gets tangled up with a perky FBI agent Ellie Shurtleff.

Lifeguard is missing some of the suspense and witty police work that we’ve become used to in Patterson’s books.  I’m finding that some of Patterson’s co-authored books are less than good — as if Patterson is just allowing his name to be used on the covers.  This one definitely fell short.

No fancy police work.  This isn’t the best Patterson novel.

• Mass Market Paperback: 432 pages
• Publisher: Grand Central Publishing; 1st edition (August 1, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 044661761X
• Amazon Link